


Sandpaper To The Ego

by Bignonbinarygay



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, jack turning to joker, jokers kinda more like a town prankster than yknow renowned terrorist, jokers trans, rewriting jokers backstory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-12 09:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17464664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bignonbinarygay/pseuds/Bignonbinarygay
Summary: Jack Napier falls on hard times. No job, no money for food. Just when things seem pointless, a bat shaped friend intervenes. For a second the world lights up.





	1. Something Good

He awoke, instantly the pain slicing through his morning fatigue. He groaned before shifting to a manageable position, blinking heavily. His eyes met the low hanging ceiling; water damage soon to bring the whole thing crashing down on him. The short man shivered and sighed, covering his long tired eyes with his forearm. Jack was awake. Again. The mold eating at the bulging tile resembling the gnawing in his soul. His bed, which was really just another blanket, was stiff cold thanks to the floor. He propped himself up on his elbow, his shoulder painfully cracking in the sudden pressure. He hissed through ground teeth but got up nonetheless. 

Another day in this numb, cold hell. His floor was half flooring and half broken up with the underlying dirt. He stood and lurched across, the cold biting at his feet. This 70 sq feet of space felt smaller every day. He sat at his uneven table, checking the charge on his hand-me-down phone. Nothing new. He looked in the fridge. Almost finished leftover rice and a jar of pickled radishes. He sighed. Nothing new.  
Jack got dressed and checked his mail. Wanted to quietly gouge his eyes out at the four letters inked heavily with FINAL NOTICE. Another sigh. Financial aid, lately, hasn't been enough to really cover the bills. His debts piling up and he can't keep a job. He'd be angry, if he bothered to feel a thing at all. The bags under his eyes felt deeper every day. The color everyday is grey.  
He couldn't stay here. He couldn't be here. Shit. The emptiness loomed in his guts and circled like vultures around his soul. He had to get out. He needed to leave. He grabbed his keys, his throat twisting painfully while his mind went places dark. He couldn't be alone right now. He needed to go. He slammed the front door and locked it behind him, taking an blank, lethargic pace down the alleyway to the city. He stared at the cement, his eyes completely hollow. He wore thick layers to hide the body he was dysphoric about. The world seemed to spin as he made his way. He distantly worried.  
“Hey kid, stop right there!” a gruff, loud voice shouted at Jack. He quickened his pace. Shit. Finally, some emotion. Fear. A strong big hand grabbed his thick sleeve and slammed him again the brick wall. He flinched and finally looked at his assailants. It was three men, one short and two tall. They were all much bigger than him. Two of them had him pinned and one was keeping watch. Jack wearily eyed them one by one.  
“Did you hear us jack ass?! Give us your money and you'll wake up another day.” the fist dug deeper into his collarbone. He dropped his gaze. A thought crossed his mind. If he just stayed quiet, would they really kill him? He looked at them again, mouth completely shut. Whatever was going to happen, he was apathetic.  
“Fuckin’ wise guy thinks we got all day. Len, search him.” the short, skinny one shoved his greedy hands into one of Jack's many jackets, which was of course empty. He couldn't help the hysteric giggle that left his lips. Maybe this was it. Maybe, finally, this was how he was going out. The one who had him pinned growled when “Len” turned up empty handed. He pressed a newly revealed knife into Jack's rib-cage, leaning in to whisper.  
“You know what we do to little stiffers who leave us fresh out of luck?” the knife presses even deeper still. Jack look at the man in the eyes, a empty crazed sad grin burning on his face. This was it. Haha. Finally.  
Suddenly, a solid foot connected with a soft spot on the tall guys skull. Jack stopped, stunned, when the offending grip weakened to nothing and the guy slipped down, unconscious. The other two men started, a gasp half way through their faces when they, too, were knocked unconscious.  


TIL NOW, I ALWAYS GOT BY ON MY OWN. I NEVER REALLY CARED UNTIL I MET YOU.  


“Are you okay, pal?” a tall, dark costumed figure offered a hand to Jack, who, absolutely floored, took it. “I'm so sorry I didn't make it sooner. Are you okay, citizen?-”  


“Jack.” he grinned, half high on adrenaline half completely and totally lovestruck. “Jack Napier. And you are-??”  


AND NOW IT CHILLS ME TO THE BONE. HOW DO I GET YOU ALONE?  


It was like every angel was singing a screaming falsetto with the ragged jungle beat of Jack's heart. He couldn't stop the absolutely loony smile beaming across his face. He shook the hero's hand maybe a little too eagerly.  
  


“Ah- Batman. Just doing my best to help. Are you hurt? I can get you to a hospita-” Jack shook his head excitedly.  


“No no I'm fine!! Perfect, actually, now that you're here.” he sighed dreamily before letting go of Batman’s hand. Batman seemed to be enthralled as well, a small smile and dare Jack note a blush?  
“What kind of person would I be if I didn't help you get to your destination?” Batman simpered, standing by Jack's side and looking to him for direction. Jack's blush deepened and he nodded.  
“Just this way. Heading to the city. Are you sure you're not too busy?” crooned Jack worriedly, blinking big sad puppy eyes at his new boyfriend. The tall man hid a chuckle and shook his head, a humored smile still worn. An angel.  
“It's the least I can do, Jack.” he said his name softly, like it'd break. Jack felt like he was sparkling. When was the last time a dashing hunk treated him so sweetly? His insecurity reared its ugly head, however, telling Jack he's lucky this god took enough pity to save his hideous skin. The voice, however, made Jack even hungrier for the stranger.  


“I'm surprised I haven't heard of you.” Jack blinked innocently at The Batman. Batman nodded sincerely.  
“I've only just started this uh. Crusade?” he leaned his arms behind his head. Jack took note of the distance between them. God, he was smitten. He had no chance. Not a chance in hell. He smiled and shed a private, internal tear.  
“Just... the very thought of bad happening in this city I love.” Batman continued, frowning at the cement. Jack blinked. “It kept me up at night. So many sleepless nights.” He nodded, listening. Batman smiled at him.  
“Helping people. It gives me purpose. I don't like people suffering if I can help it.”  
They made it to a street intersection. They stopped, Jack rocking foot to foot with anticipation.  
“Here's my stop. But honestly Bats I'm kind of free, of you'd like to hang out.” Jack gave him a shy smile.  
Batman looked interested. Jack took this as motivation to continue, a flutter in his heart.  


“Honestly this appointment will likely be me not getting a grant so if you want there's this nice-” suddenly the store across the street completely and totally exploded. Jack stumbled back, letting out an exclamation as he hit the pavement. Oh come on, he winced, his ankle definitely feeling twisted. Desperately, he looked around for his new friend. Batman had rushed to the site, leaving Jack stunned once again. Jack groaned, lying down for a moment. Just when it seemed like he had a date. The interruption clicked something in his head, though. Getting batman's attention... He covered his eyes with his forearm, smiling beneath the unbothered sky. Finally. Something to live for.


	2. Hard Times in the City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack does jack. The world doesn't give a rip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys tysm for the nice comments and kudos :") it has been rlly encouraging aaaa,,,  
> end of chapter notes for some rambling  
> also sorry this is a short one  
> i do have this whole thing planned out its just ;; writing ;;

Fuck an appointment, Jack eagerly raced his way home, nothing on his mind but his new fixation. He can’t stop thinking of the tall, ripped dude in dark sweat pants and a mask. His heart raced and he couldn’t stop the happy smirk. He had to keep that man’s attention. Greedily cling to that hope and happiness. The thoughts about him kept circling in Jack’s head. The gloved hands that had held him, he smooth smile he had. There was an aura about him Jack couldn’t place; he’d never seen it before. There was an itching, demanding compulsion, motivation driving him that hadn’t ever hit him; not to mention the misery and dredge of his life recently.  
It was like he was discovering his favorite colors again. Like he was naming himself again. Finding those new meanings in the mundane, like being reborn. Was there a word for this? Obsession maybe, he thought dryly. There was always a word for the things he was. Trans. Or his colors. Purple, green, red.  


Enough of this. This meandering. Jack was bored of the dulled rust that had swallowed him. Fuck if he was going to let another beautiful thing slip, slip past. This stunned him though. What would he really be willing to do for this? For this stranger? Would he give his time, his thoughts, his life? He took in the broken floorboards around him; the leaking ceiling, the tiny apartment. The eviction notices. Slip, slip, slip. The grey that as of late has totally enslaved him. Drained him of all the life in his eyes. His life slipping, slipping, slipping away. A sudden, volatile surge of anger and color threatened to strangle him; it was choking, overwhelming and swirling. Enough of this. He chuckled. Enough of this. Just like that, his question was answered. He ran a hand through his hair in a vain attempt to soothe his fraying nerves. Yeah, he’d throw this pathetic life away. Law of equivalent exchange. He’d go to insane lengths. He’d do his very best. Yes, he’d do just about anything. Whatever crazy, suicidal thing to get the intense, fair gaze of that beautiful man.

 

Hard cut to Jack shrieking fearfully at the top of a small tree. Tears clouding his vision, he cried for help. The birch sapling highest branch swayed harshly under his weight. Passersby stare from far, a mix of confusion and amusement at his clear distress.  
In truth, Jack had been trying to get a cat stuck in the tree, climbing high to make it stuck, before realizing he had no clue how he got there. Now him and this pissed cat are stuck at the top of this goddamn tree. He began to panic. The ground swirled at him. Knots in his throat threatened to roll further, the damn oxygen wasn’t reaching his brain. He hated how easily he panicked. He groaned louder thinking of Batman seeing him like this; so pathetic. He didn’t have to imagine for long. Batman swung down, grabbing Jack by the waist. His strong arms easily held him and the angry cat. Even his touch felt so safe and warm. Jack’s face immediately reddened. What is this? Why does he feel this way? A twinge of nausea hit him, the situation suddenly feeling like too much. It’s gunna be so obvious what he was doing. Batman is going to look right through him; know how desperate he was to see him again - - He was set on his feet, a steady hand on his shoulder to make sure he didn’t trip over himself. 

“Hey are you oka-- Jack?” stammered Batman. Fuck. He had to make something up. Quick.  
“Hey, geez, how embarrassing! I saw this cat stuck in this tree, tried to help, but climbing back down isn’t really my deal, y’know”” He whittled the lie out lightning fast, not even pausing for effect or to breathe. It was only then Jack saw what Batman was wearing - holy fuck. Holy fuck!  
It seemed like Batman had drop kicked a bible clean through Jack’s church window. He had a chest window showing off tan cleavage and tight, custom made, sleek tights. His gloves were the same material, tight yet smooth and firm. Jack’s jaw dropped and he felt the heat gather in his cheeks. Ok so maybe this was a slight bit beyond fascination. Maybe a tad beyond a healthy fixation.  
Batman chuckled quietly. “Is that so?” there was a smile in his voice. God, how Jack wanted to rip that mask off.

“Be more careful next time.” He looked around for a place to safely grapple. “See you around, Jack Atta -:  
“Hey uh wait a second.” Batman paused and turned to him, seeming puzzled. Jack could feel himself sweating.  
“Slick new costume, Batsy~” he gave a wink. Batman just ducked his head shyly and grappled as fast as he could away, leaving Jack a washing machine of emotions. Wow. He really bought it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so obviously my characterization of the joker is like completely so far removed from yknow. the joker. that's why i hve it under the lego batman tag - - other than that movie being amazing lol  
> but yeah joker isnt going to be some uwu cute,,, little bean but hes also not gunna be a psychopath??? i hope i can find that fine line  
> like i like the needy chubby kind of self destructive thing he had in the lego batman movie  
> i honestly wanted to capture /that/ and a bit of the dance between him and batman  
> sorry just wanted to clarify - thank you so much for reading!!!!!
> 
> EDIT: HSSSKSKSS I HAVE 1(ONE) BRAIN CELL

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm going to attempt to write this idea thats been stuck in my head for awhile now!! Please enjoy, lemme know what you think in the comments. Also I wrote this at four in the morning and only had a cursory glance so I hope its readable haha. Thank you!!!


End file.
